“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love. (Matthew 18:15-17 The Message)
The definition of evangelical repentance from https://kingjamesbibledictionary.com/Dictionary/repent:
Evangelical repentance consists of (1) a true sense of one’s own guilt and sinfulness; (2) an apprehension of God’s mercy in Christ; (3) an actual hatred of sin (Psalms 119:128; Job 42:5, 6; 2 Corinthians 7:10) and turning from it to God; and (4) a persistent endeavour after a holy life in a walking with God in the way of his commandments.
REFLECTION
Sometimes careful confrontation is needed, and it can be done in many different ways.
I once attended a charity event because I wanted to learn more about the mission and pray about how I could possibly help. However – afterwards, when one of the organisers sent me a message, I knew that I needed to tell her that I was shocked / very upset by the unexpected and very graphic scenes in the documentary they showed at the event, and that it seemed clear that I had experienced a kind of secondary trauma. I went on to tell her that I understood that the intention may have been to “wake up” society to the realities…but that there must be a better way to get the message across than sharing such disturbing / graphic imagery and sounds into the atmosphere to unsuspecting viewers/listeners, causing the very real possibility of secondary trauma.
Aware that their intent was not to cause secondary trauma, I reassured her that I was okay and processing the experience with the Lord, and that I was grateful for the opportunity to share my feedback, in the hope that it would be helpful. I ended with words of encouragement, thanked her and the team for their caring commitment to helping those in dire need, and let her know that I’m with them in prayer. My rebuke was respectfully received and I continue to support the organisation in different ways, praise God.
Confrontation can be tricky, but it can be done in a caring way, by God’s grace. Let’s not hide from issues, but rather bring them to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to help us courageously confront with care.
PRAYER POEM: Help
LORD, nothing compares to You and Your confronting, comforting, correcting love – a holy, refining fire – purifying my every desire. You pulled me out of the muck and mire to teach me Your wonderful ways and take me higher. Help me help others and stay humbly aware of how much You care.
